Star date 8-27-08

All I do is watch Star Trek: Next Generation and wait to watch Star Trek: Next Generation again. I've got nothing else going for me but eating indian food and watching movies when I can afford it. I'm pretty bored. I think I gotta go freak myself at the dance club so I'll have something to blog about. Picard is a FREAK on the flute tho! So pro and what a hunk!

bloggin aint easy

I need to make a million dollars as soon as possible because I gotta eat out and buy a projector. Spaced the TV show is pretty good. It's romantic and supernatural.

I now have a private cave to hide in all day but I still need a pet panda bear to put in it. I keep checking craigs list for a panda bear trade but nobodys come up, just hookers. Im looking for a bear with a great personality, a bear strong to hold me, a bear that will protect me and let me use him as a chair when theres nowhere to sit, I'd also like this bear to know sign language and drive me to work. Let me know if you see anything in the paper or on the sites or anything, I havent been able to watch much TV and I may be missing an ad for a new panda store, it's so sad.

Hot summer tips!

I'm trying to drink a little less beer because it's for fat people. But I get tired of cape cods everyday even though my lesbian friend Sean never does. I had to switch it up with vodka tonic because it's a drink for a slim crowd. The only problem is that I never have ice but I do have otter pops! Otter pops look great in a clear ass drink because it turns it your drink the color of whatever pop you choose. Plus, if you're a preschool teacher or mother this beverage is perfect for young children; you could melt a red pop with a yellow pop and make an orange vodka drink and so on! Another tip is to never ever, ever, ever go to a thing called a pub crawl, SERIOUSLY! No matter how great your coworker at MAC says it is, you and your friend will both want to kill yourself for even being seen there.

Bad news guys: Eating dead animal flesh is out. It's tacky and old fashioned. I don't know about you but I'm from the future, and as a sexy mutant from the year 2420 the last thing I want is to be an outdated time traveler. Today my kitty Calvester cut his paw on a razor in the bathroom and there was bloody cat prints all over the tub. People like to eat little, helpless, baby animals "rare" so they can taste their animal blood. I know it's freaky, but I didnt feel that hungry when I was washing away the red drippings that allow my pet to be alive. Guess I'm just a hippy!

It's only two months from my birthday so I'm gonna start giving you gift ideas right away so you can start to save up:

-stuff for girls
-$$$

if i could fly...

What if you could fly but it was really hard like in the way it's really hard to run? My fren would probably be like, "do you wanna fly over to the liquor store and pick up some 40's?" and I'd be like, "naw homie, I'm pretty tired let's drive over there." When you fly it works your mid-section, arms and thighs.

a poem 2 sax lover:

your saxaphone blows so fine
don't get dat kimchi stuck in da horn
grey hair loves soft jazz music